The Atalaya de Femés on the island of Lanzarote in the Canary Islands rises 380 meters above the Atlantic and is a favorite destination for cyclists. On New Year's Day in 2018 Henning, on holiday with his young family, is cycling up the mountain and taking stock of his life. On the surface things seem to be on course: a beautiful wife, two children, secure employment – a nice, affluent middle-class life. But as he struggles up the mountain his mind dwells on things that are going off track. His career has plateaued while his wife's has blossomed: she is now the primary breadwinner. In an effort to make to keep things equal in his marriage, Henning has assumed more of the childcare and household duties. His vague feelings of masculine inadequacy are exacerbated by having watched his wife flirt and dance with an attractive man the previous evening. Most seriously, Henning suffers episodes of debilitating anxiety, so severe that hospitalization has been required. He can sense an anxiety attack coming on as the ride up the mountain exhausts him and his mind enters a dark place:
"Henning beginnt, stumm im Takt der Tritte zu skandieren: Scheiß-Wind, Scheiß-Wind, Scheiß-Wind. Die Wut gibt ihm Kraft. Das Treten scheint ein wenig leichter zu gehen. Es ist eine allgemeine Wut. Nicht nur auf Straße, Wind und Berg. Es ist eine Wut auf alles, eine Wut wie ein Energiefeld, wie Hitze oder Licht. Henning brennt innerlich. Scheiß-Job, Scheiß-ES, Scheiß-Welt." Und dann bricht es aus ihm heraus: Scheiß-Theresa, Scheiß-Jonas, Scheiß-Bibbi, Scheiß-Kinder, Scheiß-Familie. "Er denkt es nicht mehr, er schreit. Er hat keine Ahnung, was er damit meint. Es gibt niemanden auf der Welt, den er so sehr liebt."
Henning reaches the summit and collapses from exhaustion and dehydration. He is rescued by a woman who strangely resembles his mother. The woman takes her into her house on the mountain, and here the plot becomes a bit far-fetched. Henning seems to remember that the same house was where he had stayed as a young boy with his family on summer vacation. Henning was five years old and the time and his sister Luna only two. At this point the narrative perspective shifts to that of five year-old Henning, and this is where Juli Zeh excels. She somehow manages to capture perfectly the magical thinking and terror of a young boy. At some point during this summer holiday Henning and Luna wake up to find their parents missing. They assume their parents will return momentarily, but they never do. What follows is harrowing story of two young children alone in a strange house in a strange place. Henning is forced to become the protector of his baby sister, and the two experience a nightmarish several days left to their own devices.
Adult Henning had repressed the trauma of this vacation from hell. His sister Luna of course has no recollection at all and believes that this was all a false memory: it never happened. And was this the source of Henning's anxiety attacks? Juli Zeh neatly ties up the loose ends – perhaps too neatly? But the middle section where she very effectively enters the mind of a young child thrust into a terrible predicament makes this a very worthwhile read.
